Do you know what’s ‘asexual’? And do you identify as one?
If you’re not familiar, asexuality is just another point on the spectrum of sexual attraction. Some people are homosexual (and are attracted to people of the same gender), others are bisexual (and are attracted to people of two or more genders), and yet others can be asexual. Asexual folks don’t experience sexual attraction. That doesn’t mean that they don’t experience arousal or desire, just that any arousal or desire isn’t directed towards a specific person. It also doesn’t mean that asexual people can’t have fulfilling romantic relationships, since successful relationships don’t always require sex! All asexuality means is that a person doesn’t experience sexual attraction.
While there are lots of folks who are asexual and whom want nothing to do with sex- and that’s totally fine- there are others, who love toys and embrace them fully, no matter the style. Our list of the toys below are for those in that gray area; not quite sex-repulsed, but not quite fully invested in hyper-realistic sex toys.
Asexual folks’ choice #1: Vibrators
Clitoris owners typically appreciate some vibrations, regardless of subsequent or simultaneous activities. Try to find a small, lipstick-sized vibrator if you’re looking for pinpoint stimulation or move up to more power-focused vibrator that provides suction or dual-motor, surround sound style vibration.
Experiment with different kinds if you can, and see what you like! Regardless of the style, be sure to read some reviews and look for vibrators that are rumbly, not buzzy.
Asexual folks’ choice #2: Dildos
Silicone is a great material that lends itself well to dildo-making. Many companies have very realistic options, but also some more abstract, non-realistic designs as well. Sometimes they’re simply cylindrical, others will have curves and waves or other textures.
Make sure your toy has a flared base if you’re using it for anal play, or that it’s compatible with a harness if you’re thinking about incorporating strap-ons into your repertoire.
There are also vibrating dildos, which can be a great way to shake up any monotony. Many vibrators meant for internal use have prominent curves meant to stimulate the g-spot, though if you find you don’t like that particular sensation, these vibes can also be great multitaskers and work well for clitoral stimulation as well! Or, you can try adding one of the Le Wand massager silicone attachments- Curve or Ripple– for powerful internal stimulation.
Be sure to look for body-safe materials like silicone and waterproofing if you plan to experiment in the shower or bath.
Asexual folks’ choice #3: Plugs
If you have a prostate, the prostate-specific plugs might be a fun option to explore that pleasure zone. With or without a prostate, plugs marketed to novices are a great option for some introductory anal play. We especially love the Novice Plug or Snug Plug 1 from b-Vibe.
Remember to go slow, use lots of lube, and think of it as a marathon instead of a sprint. If it’s your first time experimenting with anal play, don’t feel like you have to get the whole toy in at once, or leave it in for a long time. Any amount of progress is a success, and always remember to use toys with a flared base for safety!
Even if you’re not asexual, some folks just don’t like realistic toys. There are always some great options out there for more abstract toys in satisfying, body-safe shapes and materials.
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