Saved by the Vibe #1: Grand Bullet
Yearbook superlatives are as American as apple pie. And kind of like the most famous American apple pie of all, we think superlatives are best when used for masturbation. (Do people even understand that reference anymore?)
Each month we’re choosing our standout star, the very “best” or “most” or “est” and we are celebrating and honoring it as the popular kids in school are celebrated and honored: with no bias whatsoever.
Sure, we love all of our toys, how could we not? They do what many have tried, but few have succeeded to do. They make us cum.
Best Dressed: Le Wand Grand Bullet
Looks aren’t everything, but they certainly don’t hurt. As the eight-time Academy Award winner Edith Head once said, “You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it.” And Le Wand Grand Bullet clearly wants you to get your nut. With its multiple sleeve attachments, you can dress this thing like a Barbie Doll and do what we did best with our Barbies: sex stuff.
Coco Chanel said, “Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they notice the woman.” And I do not presume this inanimate object’s gender, but this is how I know it is impeccably dressed. When you think of this Grand Bullet, you aren’t thinking about its perfect sleeve outfits, but rather the bullet itself. Its concentrated, powerful vibrations that get you there, how and when you want to be.
Like a little black dress, sleek and simple bullet vibrators never go out of style. Also like a little black dress, your collection is simply not complete without one. I aspire to ooze the style the Grand Bullet has. Accessories are meant to enhance, not make or break a look, and there is no other way to describe this set. This baby turns heads no matter what it’s wearing. Drop your tutorial, Grand Bullet! Let’s see your “dress up or dress down this look” get-read-with-me, nobody does it like you do!
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