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Self Care

Stepping Into Your Sexual Power Zone

by Tracy Felder
Last Updated: Mar 17, 2021

This month is all about stepping into, what we like to call, your sexual power zone.

Your sexual power zone is a part of your aura that leads to your sexual freedom or pleasure. That moment when your gut or intuition feels warm, powerful, and that super sexy power comes alive.

Here are some of the ways I'm stepping into my power zones to give you an example.

I changed my single status to solo poly because I wanted to connect with multiple partners and build stronger relationships with them.

I just moved to a new city and I want to find a Rigger (aka rope daddy/mommy) to satisfy my bondage vibes of being tied up (aka rope bunny).

Still on the fence about this one but I am curious to creating a mukbang while interacting with a new audience as they watch me eat large quantities of my favorite foods. Food porn is such a hot thing!

I started devoting a day out of the week to self-care, self-indulgence, and self-pleasure with long masturbation sessions, eating whatever I wanted, and then taking a long-ass nap.

But to get to that sexual power zone comes a journey. And in that journey, you are tapping into a lot (or maybe just some) of your inner warrior that is going to open up old shit, good shit, and shitty shit in between.

So, give yourself some grace.

Sexual power zone

Sexual Power Zone with Dirty Lola

I had a chance to connect with one of my favorite colleagues in the game, Dirty Lola, and ask her how she was able to step into her sexual power zone:

"Every decade I have under my belt has brought with it a new sexual power zone to step into," she said. "My twenties were wild, but I also spent that time healing from trauma. I went from thinking I was broken to knowing how magical my body truly is. With my thirties came the confidence that had eluded me all my life."

She went on to say "I was finally able to see my glory for myself. The shackles of what others think of me fell away and I realized I didn't want to live a life wishing I'd acted on the things I felt in my heart."

"All of this didn't just happen. It took work. I did the hard work to heal my wounds. I found ways to bolster my confidence (I will always say selfies and tasteful nudes are magic) and I left learning about my body."

You're feeling the vibes, and your partner(s) are feeling your vibes and some really good happenings are about to go down!

How to Step Into Your Sexual Power Zone

So how can we kick the crap we've developed over the years and start stepping into our sexual freedom from the gripes of the day-to-day hustle?

Here's how to get started:

Get curious about your pleasure

The great thing about sexual pleasure is that it's so broad that at most times, we've barely noticed that we've scratched the surface.

An example can be my typical day of walking to my local park and I notice a hottie that frequents the park around the same time. I don't need to say hello, but I can take that image home with me and fantasize about the way their hair flowed in the wind with that sexy stride. Maybe even invest in a pair of similar tights they wore and explore how they can feel on my body.

Surprisingly, I'm stepping into a voyeur power zone because I have asked myself what intimacy is like without going straight to porn and how can I explore my body with pleasure other than sex.

Believe that you are worth to receiving pleasure

Your body is a bodacious babe! It takes some time to accept it just the way it is. So, a helpful tip can be to give love to a part of your body that you don't like.

You could grow to love it just like that blooming house plant in your home. How did that house plant get to be so big and luscious?

You watered it, fertilized it, and gave it positive vibes with affirmations or singing to it. Now flip the switch on that body part. I love body crème and oils, so my moisturizing session is clutch. I'm also into trying new threads that are trendy but not exactly gender-specific to how I identify like coveralls from

Keep experimenting

Above all, make sure you're having fun constantly experimenting with new ways to evoke your sexual power zone.

Remember, your sexual power zone is never linear. So, learn to pivot and encompass the changes with it. Because that's what keeps you empowered! You can have a bad day and fuck yourself clean. Or you can have a good day and rub down a chat with Dirty Lola on

Whatever you do, take care and revel in your new sexual power.

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