The Ultimate Guide to Temperature Play

21 January 2019

The Ultimate Guide to Temperature Play by Kasandra Brabaw

The Ultimate Guide to Using Temperature Play During Sex

Imagine plucking an ice cube from a bowl beside your bed, rubbing your fingers around the cube to warm it up, and then dripping the ice cold water on your partner’s nipples, down their stomach, and onto their genitals. This is the image most people probably conjure when they think of temperature play, the act of using heat or cold during sex. But, as hot (and cool!) as playing with ice can be, there’s a lot more you can do with temperature, ranging from simple beginner tips to hardcore and slightly dangerous (which we don’t recommend unless you’re an expert!).

Temperature Play 101

Why bother with heat and cold in the first place? Just like replacing the head of your Le Wand with one of the textured options can make it feel like a whole new sex toy, playing with temperature can make your typical sex routine feel fresh. It’s all about the sensations.

So, pro-tip, try combining temperature play with sensory deprivation. Take our sexy ice cube scene from above, and add a blindfold. When you cut off the receiving partner’s vision, they’ll be able to pinpoint their focus on the feeling of the ice, making the sensation even more intense.

Ready to try playing with temperature in your sex life? Go ahead and grab some ice cubes, or try one of the tips below.

Heat or cool your toys

Your trust sex toys are a great way to incorporate some hot and cold temperatures into both your partnered and solo sex. While toys made of materials that conduct heat and cold well will create more intense temperatures — like stainless steel or glass — silicone toys work, too. So even your Le Wand can get in on the action by putting the silicone attachments in the freezer, or dipping them in warm water. (Side note: the massager itself should not be placed in the freezer or in warm water!)

How do you get your toys to the right temperature? It’s easy: Just stick them in the freezer for a while before sex if you’re looking for some chill time, or dunk them in some warm water to heat things up.

Grab some ice cubes

Ice is maybe the easiest way to play with temperature. All it takes is grabbing a few cubes from your ice tray. You can drip melted ice water over your partner’s body. You can put the ice cube in your mouth and then go down on your partner or run your icy tongue along their erogenous zones. Or you can rub the ice cube itself around your partner’s nipples, on their neck, over their lips, and on their genitals.

Warm your mouth

Temperature play and tongues are a perfect match, and all it takes to make your mouth warmer than usual is a cup of hot tea or coffee. Drink your hot beverage right before going down on your partner, and see how the new sensation makes them feel. Just, be careful: If you’re using coffee or tea to warm your mouth before oral sex, you’ll need to drink it black. Sugar in the genital area can cause yeast infections, and no one wants that.

Use a warming or cooling lubricant

There are lubes for just about everything, and that includes temperature play. Some lubes are specifically made to feel warm or cool.

Using a warm lube like System JO VOLT Clitoral Stimulation Serum will provide a warming sensation to your nether regions, or any other place that you choose to apply it. And cooling lubes, like ID’s cooling formula, will give you a nice tingle.

You can also invest in a lube warmer if you want to try using warm lube, but don’t want to stray from your favorite lubricant. Lube warmers turn any lube or massage oil into warm fun.

Try a massage candle

Massage candles are specifically formulated to burn at lower temperatures than regular wax candles. Plus, they melt into a delicious-smelling oil that you can rub into your partner’s skin for a sensual massage.

While massage candles are cooler than a candle you’d find in a department store, that doesn’t mean they aren’t hot — they’re just much less likely to burn your skin. So grab your favorite scent and settle in for a hot night, literally. You can even use your Le Wand to massage the oil into the skin!

Use ice cream, whipped cream, or another tasty treat

Another great combo for temperature play? Food play. Simply open your fridge or freezer and grab any cool treat you want in your mouth or on your body and go to town. But, again, if you’re choosing a sugary food like ice cream or whipped cream, then make sure to keep it away from your or your partner’s genitals if you want to avoid a yeast infection.

Drip hot wax

Now we get into the more intense temperature play. If you’re using a regular candle, and not a massage oil candle, wax play can be dangerous. If you’re not careful, you could burn your skin with too-hot wax. So be sure to test your boundaries slowly and safely. Start with wax that burns at lower temperatures, like soy or paraffin, and drop the wax from higher distances (it’ll cool down as it falls through the air). Once you get more comfortable, you can try a wax with a higher melting point, like beeswax or palm. You can also drop the wax closer to the body, which will make the heat more intense.

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