Introduction to Cockwarming
What is cockwarming? Why is everyone jumping on this TikTok trend? Sexual health and wellness writer Amanda Chatel provides all the answers and how to start warming the cock!
For my partner and I, intercourse — at least in its conventional sense — is off the table for us right now. Although he's able to get hard, due to the medication he's on, he's unable to orgasm. It doesn't matter what we try or how much we both (consensually) jump out of our sexual comfort zone, he just can't climax — something that has created a level of frustration for him that I can't even imagine.
But because it's important to us to be as physically close as we are emotionally close, several months ago he started putting his cock inside me during spooning sessions. We'd cuddle up on the couch or in bed, with a movie streaming, and he'd slip himself inside me and stay there, sometimes for almost the entire length of a film. As he explained to me, because he knew he couldn't come, but he wanted to be as close to me as he could, he found comfort in the idea of my vagina being his sort of safe haven. I, of course, am all up for his cock being anywhere isnide me, so if he wants to binge watch "The Office" for the 100th time while his penis camps out in my vagina, I'm totally game.
What some people may not know is that there's an actual term for this practice: cockwarming.
What is Cockwarming?
As the name suggests, cockwarming is when a partner with a penis puts themselves inside their partner, orally, vaginally, or anally, to stay warm. It doesn't involve any thrusting, as traditional intercourse would, but it's essentially spooning taken to the next level. And, like spooning, it doesn't necessarily have to be sexual.
Is it the same as soaking?
Short answer: No. With cockwarming, two consensual adults are opting out of thrusting so as to enjoy another way of being intimate. In contrast, soaking is when a penis is put into the vagina without the intention of there being any thrusting. Instead, a third person is asked to jump on the bed to create an in-out movement which ultimately leads to penetrative intercourse — or at least that's the hope.
Soaking is supposedly a sexual practice used by Mormon teenagers, because they're not allowed to have intercourse before marriage. On TikTok, soaking has garnered millions of hashtags and views. It's also called jump-humping.
How did cockwarming gain popularity?
How cockwarming became popular isn't exactly clear. Although like most, if not all sex act, it's probably been around since the first human put their penis in another person. The term initially appeared in the Urban Dictionary in 2014.
If we look at the influence BDSM has as it becomes more mainstream and those outside the community are opening their minds to it, the popularity of cockwarming could have stemmed from there. In BDSM, cockwarming [and face sitting] is used in submission and domination.
Cockwarming for Beginners
If you're reading this and thinking there's no other place you want your cock to be than inside your partner, or there's no other place you want your partner's cock to be than in one of your holes just hanging out, then that's the first step to take before diving into the wonderful world of cock warming.
Here's the rest of your step-by-step guide:
1. Talk consent
With any sexual, once you know you want to try something and your partner(s) is on board, the next logical conversation to be had is about consent. Even if you and your partner have been together for years, unless you two have a carte blanche agreement in the bedroom, then discussing is paramount. What this essentially means is asking if you can warm your cock or use your body to warm the cock of your partner, and only going for it when you get the go-ahead to do so.
2. How to communicate your interest to your partner
Although at its core cockwarming — especially outside of BDSM — isn't something so kinky that it will have your partner clutching their pearls, because it is outside the realm of conventional sex, it's a topic you want to navigate carefully. Explain to your partner what it is, what interests you about it, what it can mean for your relationship regarding intimacy, and what you hope you both will get out of it.
Answer all of your partner's questions openly and clearly, without trying to steer them toward saying "yes." If at any point your partner shoots down the idea, don't push it. When it comes to exploring new sexual frontier, no one should feel bullied or obligated to engage. Besides, it's worth noting that sexual interests and leanings toward experimentation can change and evolve for some people.
But if you partner is excited to give it a go, then let the cockwarming commence!
3. Three ways to cockwarm
When it comes to warming a cock, the general rule of thumb is if there's an orifice in which a penis can fit, then it becomes a cockwarming spot — consensually, of course.
Oral: With oral cockwarming, a penis is put inside the mouth and held there. There's no sucking, licking, or thrusting involved. It's simply held in the mouth of a partner for as long as both people are comfortable.
Vaginal: Vaginal cockwarming is when a cock is placed in the vagina and essentially left there, again, as long as both partners are comfortable. Depending on your positioning, you and your partner could fall asleep like this.
Anal: For anal cockwarming, you're going to want to add lube to the equation and, just as you would with anal penetration, the cock should be gently slid inside where it can remain for as long as you both like.
What's important to remember, no matter what type of cockwarming you practice, just because one's cock is in another person's body, it doesn't mean it has to be sexual. Cockwarming could be used as type of foreplay, aftercare, or just a way to be intimate without any other sex acts involved.
4. What are the best places to cockwarm?
You have so many options as to where you can warm a cock up. In a pool or jacuzzi, you can enjoy vaginal or anal cockwarming. At the movie theater, on the couch while watching TV, or if your partner with a penis is driving — these are all great places to cockwarm with your mouth.
Ready to get wet? Here's our trending guide to having sex in the water!
There really is no limit as to locations where you can indulge in cockwarming. If you and your partner happen to share an exhibitionist kink, then the world is your cockwarming oyster. Carefully and warily, of course. Need inspiration? Check out our sneaky guide on public masturbation.
5. How long should you cockwarm?
There's no set time limit or minimum for cockwarming. Unless it's being used as a form of consensual punishment in BDSM, cockwarming can be practiced anywhere from a few minutes to the entire length of a movie or longer! It's all about what's most enjoyable and most comfortable. So don't go into cockwarmijng the first few times with expectations for how long or short the experience should be. Don't overthink it; just go with it.
Also, don't be afraid to include assets like flavored lube for oral cockwarming, or stimulants like arousal gels or cock rings for prolonged erections. Even if your intention isn't to have any type of sex and just keep your cockwarming non-sexual, it doesn't mean that you can't add more pleasure to the experience. Allow yourself to be creative.
Cockwarming in BDSM
Where cockwarming can get extra fun is when it's incorporated into BDSM kink activities. If a Dom with a penis wants to punish their sub (AKA submissive partner), they can force them to keep their cock in their mouth for as long as they want, depending on the offense that was committed. Or a Dom might have their sub keep their cock in vagina or ass while demanding the sub make dinner or do the laundry, to control and/or humiliate them.
Along the same vein, if the Dom has a vulva, they may choose to sit on their sub's cock with their vagina or ass, taking pleasure in the non-thrusting penetration while they do something else — for example, read a book or watch a movie. As long as there's consent every step of the way or agreed upon consensual non-consent (CNC), so that the roleplay continues without interruption, that's the most important component of cockwarming.
Final Takeaway on Warming Cocks
Like all sex-related acts — even though this one doesn't have to be sexual in nature — cockwarming requires consent and communication. It's something that can be deeply enjoyable and sensual for both partners, as long as you both agree it's something you want to explore and you've decided what type of cockwarming is best for that exploration.
Found this guide on how to cockwarm useful? Read our other trending guide for penis owners on jelqing!