Don’t let getting your period during Mercury Retrograde ruin your energy. Learn how to hone your pleasure and stoke your stamina as holistic sex coach and guide, Portia Brown walks us through how to take back our bodies while they, and the stars, seem to be against us.
Mercury retrograde is the astrological phenomenon most people are referring to when they “blame it on the stars.” Another natural phenomenon we love to blame our troubles on is our period! And if you are lucky enough to experience both at the same time, you might be feeling like you got hit by a bad luck truck.
But the truth is we can choose to approach these events with fear and dread, or we can prepare and lean into the lessons that these two phenomena undoubtedly bring us.
Wait, what exactly is Mercury retrograde?
They call Mercury “The Swift Planet” because it is the fastest-moving rock in our solar system. Typically, Mercury moves 88 days around the Sun versus the 365 days that Earth does. During retrograde, Mercury slows its pace, making its trips around the Sun slower than the Earth’s, creating the illusion that Mercury is moving backward or retrograding.
Anytime a planet is retrograding, it is the universe’s way of encouraging us to slow down in the area of our life that that planet rules. It may bring up lessons, people, and feelings from the past, taking us backward, and encouraging us to reexamine the lessons found there.
Mother Mercury is the Queen of communication, technology, travel, and intellect. She also rules the signs of Gemini and Virgo. So, when Mercury is in retrograde, we can all ever expect challenges in these areas and are told to avoid making major decisions, spending too much money, signing important papers, and generally advised to find rest as much as possible.
Mercury goes retrograde 3 times this year:
The first retrograde occurs from April 21 — May 14, in the sign of Taurus.
Second, from August 23 — September 15, in the sign of Virgo.
And finally, from December 23, 2023 — January 1, 2024, in the signs of Capricorn AND Sagittarius.
How can Mercury retrograde impact my sign?
If you have Gemini or Virgo placements in your astrological chart, you are most likely to feel the impacts of Mercury going retrograde because Mercury rules these two signs. As for everyone else, you can still expect to be influenced by Mercury going retrograde, but each sign is impacted differently depending on what sign the retrograde is happening in, as well as what sign your Mercury placement is in.
What happens when I get my period during Mercury retrograde?
Mercury in retrograde is not known for being a particularly fun astrological phenomenon, so pairing it with getting your period might sound like a recipe for an emotional breakdown. You may encounter a backward or rough sleep schedule, highly sensitive emotions, and of course, struggles with communication. But when you are properly prepared, you can actually use Mercury in retrograde and your menstrual cycle to your advantage!
How to pleasure yourself during Mercury retrograde
How can you use this time to your advantage? When we are going through a tough time, it may feel like we don’t have space for pleasure. But the truth is when things get rough, we need pleasure the most. Leaning into our pleasure practices can be a source of deep support and clarity when going through Mercury retrograde along with our periods. We can also look to our crystal allies for support. Using something like a crystal pleasure wand or crystal yoni eggs can be a wonderful way to incorporate healing, emotional growth, and pleasure. Crystals are known for their healing and grounding properties, which might be exactly what you need when navigating both Mercury in retrograde and your period.
There is no doubt that you are going to feel a slew of emotions during this time. One of the best crystals for processing heavy emotions, opening your heart, and feeling a deeper connection to self, is rose quartz. A beautiful rose quartz crystal pleasure wand can support you with connecting to your truth and pleasure, and help you feel safe and grounded as you ride out mother nature’s double whammy.
If you’re feeling a lot of negative energy or if you want space to reflect (Mercury definitely brings up a lot of things to reflect on and process), then something like a black obsidian wand would be a great tool for those desires.
Black obsidian is a shiny black crystal that, when looked at closely, can literally serve as a mirror. Using a set of reflective, black obsidian yoni eggs will not only help ease those menstrual cramps, but they will also erase feelings of disharmony and negative energy.
How to care for crystals
When using Le Wand Crystal pleasure tools in your pleasure practice, it’s important to remember to cleanse and charge them. We can do this in a plethora of ways: most people charge their crystals under the full moon or in the sun. We can also cleanse and charge them in the ocean if that’s something you can access. If not, any water source will work, or we can smudge them with sage, palo santo, or another dried herb.
RELATED: Are crystal pleasure tools safe? We bust the most common myths and reveal the facts about masturbating with crystals!
Riding out Mercury retrograde
And if you’re still looking for more support and more ways to incorporate pleasure into your experience of riding out Mercury in retrograde while on your period, you can unplug from technology as much as you can. Just like you are going through issues and communication on an individual level because of Mercury in retrograde, the collective is also experiencing all types of communication and technological snafus. To protect yourself, create as much distance as you can between yourself and technology. Replace your doom-scrolling with whatever form of self-care brings you the most joy. Here are some ideas:
– Draw yourself a cleansing bath complete with candles, oils, bath salts, and your healing crystals.
– Take a meditative walk in nature.
– Give yourself a soothing massage by rolling your crystal wand or yoni egg across sore muscles.
– Get as much sun as possible!
It’s important to remember that pleasure is here to support you! Pleasure is your friend and ally when challenging astrological events and shark week coincide. We can prepare ourselves to ensure a beneficial, or at least, tolerable outcome. We can approach these times with preparation and pleasure and make it to the other side with a closer relationship with our body, a deeper understanding of self, and less fear of the unknown.