TL;DR – Sex Positions + Toys Quick Guide
Sex toys enhance intimacy, not replace it – they’re like adding chocolate sauce to ice cream. 46-66% of couples already use toys together – you’re in good company!
Wand vibrators work brilliantly in most positions due to their ergonomic design and powerful vibrations. Communication is key – talk about what feels good and experiment together. These 10 positions offer something for everyone – from cozy spooning to steamy standing sex.
Read on for detailed instructions on how to incorporate toys into each position, plus tips for choosing the right vibrator for your adventures.
Why Toys + Sex Positions = Next-Level Pleasure
Ever wondered how to take your favorite sex positions from “pretty good” to “oh my god, what just happened?” The secret ingredient might be sitting in your bedside drawer. We’re talking about combining the intimacy of partnered sex with the reliable buzz of your favorite vibrator – and trust us, it’s a game-changer.
Whether you’re curious about introducing toys to your partner or you’re already enjoying that electric threesome, this guide will show you exactly how to maximize pleasure in 10 different positions. And spoiler alert: there’s a reason wand vibrators have become the MVP of couples’ toy boxes.
Normalizing and Framing Toy Use
First things first – let’s address the elephant (or should we say, vibrator?) in the room. Using sex toys with your partner is totally normal, healthy, and increasingly common. A recent study found that 46-66% of people between ages 18-55 reported using toys with their partners, with the 35-44 age group leading the charge. And if you’re wondering about using a vibrator on a penis, that’s becoming increasingly popular too!
So if you’ve been worried about bringing up the topic, remember: you’re more likely to get an enthusiastic “yes” than you might think. Many couples find that when they finally broach the subject, their partners are not just open to it – they’re excited!
Toys as Enhancements, Not Replacements
Let’s get one thing crystal clear: sex toys can’t replace the warmth, connection, and skin-to-skin contact with someone you desire. But here’s the beautiful truth – they’re not meant to! Think of vibrators as sexual enhancements, like adding your favorite hot sauce to an already delicious meal. They amplify what’s already there, creating new sensations and helping you both reach heights of pleasure that might be trickier with hands alone.
Key Benefits of Adding Toys to Positions
Why should you consider adding a vibrating friend to your bedroom repertoire? Our certified sex experts have identified some compelling reasons:
- Pleasure amplification – Vibrators deliver consistent stimulation that never gets tired
- Orgasm equality – Especially for people who need clitoral stimulation to climax (which is most vulva owners!)
- Novelty activation – New experiences trigger dopamine, making sex exciting again
- Time balance – Toys can help even out orgasm timing between partners
- Less pressure, more pleasure – Takes you out of performance mode and into sensation mode
- Communication boost – Talking about toys improves overall relationship communication
Wand Vibrators as Ideal for Couples
Wand massagers deserve a special shoutout for partner play. Their ergonomic design means they fit comfortably between bodies without getting in the way. Plus, cordless models like Le Wand give you freedom to explore any position without getting tangled up. The broad head provides rumbling vibrations that both partners can feel, making it a true couples’ toy. For even more techniques, our guide on how to use a wand massager has you covered.
What to Expect from This Guide
Ready to explore? We’ll walk you through 10 positions that work beautifully with toys, especially wands. Each position includes why it works, exactly how to incorporate your toy, and alternatives if you want to mix things up. Remember: these are suggestions, not rules. Feel free to modify based on what feels good for your unique body and relationship!
1. Spooning (Side-Lying) – Cozy & Hands-Free Friendly
Why It Works
Spooning is the comfort food of sex positions – intimate, relaxed, and perfect for lazy mornings or when you want closeness without acrobatics. Adding a toy to this position maintains that cozy vibe while seriously upping the pleasure factor. The side-lying angle leaves plenty of room for a vibrator without anyone having to contort themselves.
How to Use a Wand
The penetrating partner can reach around and hold the wand against their partner’s clitoris or perineum. Alternatively, the receiving partner can hold it themselves for precise control. The wand’s long handle means no one needs to twist their wrist into uncomfortable angles. Try resting the wand on the bed and grinding against it for hands-free fun!
Tips & Toy Alternatives
- Start with lower vibration settings – the relaxed position means you might be more sensitive
- A smaller bullet vibrator works great if you want something less obtrusive
- Try a vibrating cock ring for dual stimulation without holding anything
2. Doggy Style – From Behind, with an Extra Buzz
Why It Works
Doggy style already offers deep penetration and a primal feel that many folks love. Adding vibration to the mix can help stimulate the clitoris (which often gets less attention in this position) or add extra sensation to the perineum or testicles. The position naturally creates space for toy placement without cramping anyone’s style. Plus, it’s a great angle for G-spot stimulation when combined with targeted toys.
How to Use a Wand
The receiving partner can easily reach between their legs to hold a wand against their clitoris or perineum. For a hands-free option, prop yourself on one arm while using the other for the toy. The penetrating partner can also reach around, though this requires some coordination. Pro tip: rest the wand on a pillow for the perfect height!
Tips & Toy Alternatives
- A g-spot toy can add internal vibration for double penetration
- Wearable vibrators let you keep both hands free for stability
- Don’t forget about anal toys – this position is perfect for adding a vibrating plug
3. Missionary Position – Classic Meets Tech
Why It Works
Don’t let anyone tell you missionary is boring! This face-to-face position allows for intimate eye contact and kissing while leaving just enough room to slip a toy between your bodies. The close proximity means vibrations travel through both partners, turning one toy into a shared experience.
How to Use a Wand
Place the wand between your bodies, with the head resting against the clitoris. The receiving partner’s legs can help hold it in place, or the penetrating partner can reach down to adjust. Try angling the wand slightly so the handle points toward the feet – this prevents it from poking anyone in the stomach.
Tips & Toy Alternatives
- A flat, hands-free vibrator designed for couples works brilliantly here
- Small bullet vibes are less intrusive if you prefer more skin contact
- Try a vibrating cock ring for sensation without any reaching required
4. Cowgirl (Woman on Top) – Grind with a Little Extra Grind
Why It Works
When you’re on top, you control the angle, depth, and rhythm – adding a vibrator means you control the sensations too. This position naturally creates the perfect grinding motion against a toy, and your hands are free to hold a wand exactly where you want it. Plus, your partner gets an amazing view!
How to Use a Wand
Hold the wand against your clitoris while riding, or place it between you and your partner’s pubic bone for hands-free stimulation. You can also turn the wand around and use the handle for penetration while the head vibrates against your partner. Get creative with angles!
Tips & Toy Alternatives
- Let your partner hold the wand so you can use both hands for balance
- A clitoral suction toy offers different sensations while riding
- Try a double-ended dildo with vibration for penetration plus external stimulation
5. Reverse Cowgirl/Reverse Cowboy – New View, New Vibes
Why It Works
This position offers a different angle of penetration and a fresh visual perspective. For vulva owners, it can provide excellent G-spot stimulation, and adding a toy to the mix means you don’t miss out on clitoral action. The position also gives great access to stimulate testicles or the perineum.
How to Use a Wand
Lean forward slightly and hold the wand against your clitoris or perineum. Your partner can also reach around your hip to control the toy. For penis owners receiving penetration, the wand can easily reach the testicles or penis shaft from this angle.
Tips & Toy Alternatives
- A curved G-spot vibrator works wonderfully with the angle this position creates
- Try a vibrating cock ring to add sensation without using hands
- Anal toys are easily accessible in this position
6. Standing (From Behind) – The Steamy Stand & Vibe
Why It Works
Standing sex has that spontaneous, “we couldn’t even make it to the bed” energy that’s incredibly hot. Adding a vibrator might seem tricky, but with the right approach, it’s totally doable. The vertical position can create unique sensations, and the slight challenge makes success even sweeter.
How to Use a Wand
The receiving partner can hold the wand between their legs, using their thighs to help keep it in place. For extra stability, lean against a wall or furniture. The penetrating partner can also reach around, though this requires good balance. Consider resting one foot on a stool for better angles.
Tips & Toy Alternatives
- Wearable, hands-free vibrators are perfect for standing positions
- A smaller bullet vibe is easier to manage while balancing
- Suction cup dildos on the wall add extra fun for threeway play
7. Face-to-Face Seated (Lap Dance Position)
Why It Works
This intimate position lets you wrap around each other while maintaining face-to-face contact. It’s perfect for slow, sensual sessions where connection matters as much as stimulation. The seated angle naturally creates space for a toy between bodies without sacrificing closeness. If you want to explore more intimate face-to-face positions, check out our guide to face sitting for another angle on mutual pleasure.
How to Use a Wand
Place the wand between your bodies, letting the receiving partner’s grinding motion control the pressure. The seated partner can hold the base while the riding partner adjusts the angle. This position also works great with the wand beside you for manual stimulation during penetration.
Tips & Toy Alternatives
- Couples’ vibrators designed to be worn during penetration shine here
- A small bullet vibe won’t get in the way of body contact
- Try a vibrating cock ring for shared sensations
8. Scissoring (Vulva-to-Vulva) – Double the Fun for Two Vulva Owners
Why It Works
Scissoring gets a bad rap from unrealistic porn, but with some adjustments (and a vibrator), it can be incredibly pleasurable. The position allows for simultaneous stimulation, and adding a toy ensures consistent sensation even when you need to readjust your legs.
How to Use a Wand
Place the wand between your bodies where your vulvas meet. The broad head of a wand massager is perfect for stimulating both partners at once. You can also take turns using it on each other while maintaining the intimate position. Don’t be afraid to use pillows for support!
Tips & Toy Alternatives
- A double-ended vibrator lets you both enjoy penetration
- Two smaller vibrators mean you each control your own pleasure
- Add a harness and dildo if you want penetration with this position
9. Oral Sex + Vibes – (Giving and Receiving with a Toy)
Receiving with a Toy
Why choose between oral sex and vibrator stimulation when you can have both? Use a vibrator on your clitoris or perineum while your partner focuses their mouth elsewhere. This combo can lead to incredibly intense orgasms.
Giving with a Toy
Don’t forget about your own pleasure while going down on your partner! Use a hands-free vibrator or grind against a wand placed between your legs. You can also use a toy on your partner while using your mouth – teamwork makes the dream work!
Tips & Variations
- Start with the toy on a low setting to avoid overstimulation
- Mini vibrators are perfect for oral as they don’t get in the way
- Try using the toy intermittently for teasing and building anticipation
Master the art of edging with sex toys to make oral sessions even more intense
10. The Lotus (Yab-Yum) – Connection with Added Sensation
Why It Works
The Lotus position involves the penetrating partner sitting cross-legged while the receiving partner sits on their lap, wrapping their legs around them. This deeply intimate position allows for full-body contact, eye gazing, and synchronized breathing – adding a toy brings physical pleasure to match the emotional connection. It’s perfect for tantric sex enthusiasts who want to combine spiritual and physical ecstasy.
How to Use a Wand
Place a wand vibrator between your bodies before getting into position, or have it within easy reach beside you. The receiving partner can grind against it while maintaining the embrace. The close position means vibrations travel through both bodies. You can also use the wand on external erogenous zones like nipples or the perineum while maintaining penetration.
Tips & Toy Alternatives
- This position is ideal for app-controlled toys – set it and forget it while focusing on connection
- A vibrating cock ring provides hands-free stimulation perfect for this intimate position
- Take breaks from penetration to use toys on each other while maintaining the seated embrace
Try temperature play with warmed or cooled toys for added sensation
Conclusion – Communication, Exploration & Embracing the Fun
Recap of Key Takeaways
Adding sex toys to your favorite positions isn’t about fixing something that’s broken – it’s about exploring new dimensions of pleasure together. Remember, 46-66% of couples are already doing this, so you’re joining a pretty fun club!
The key to success? Communication, patience, and a sense of adventure. Start with positions you already enjoy, add a toy, and see what happens. Don’t be afraid to laugh if things get awkward (they might!) or to switch things up if something isn’t working.
Whether you’re team wand massager, bullet vibe, or trying something completely different, the most important thing is that you’re exploring together. So charge up those toys, clear your schedule, and get ready to discover just how good your favorite positions can feel with a little extra buzz.
Happy exploring, and remember – the couple that plays together, stays together!
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it safe to use sex toys during penetrative sex?
Absolutely! Body-safe sex toys are designed for this purpose. Just remember to use plenty of water-based lube, communicate with your partner about pressure and speed, and clean your toys before and after use. Avoid numbing products as you want to feel what’s happening.
What if my partner feels threatened by sex toys?
This is a common concern! Reassure your partner that toys are enhancements, not replacements. Start the conversation outside the bedroom when you’re both relaxed. Frame it as something fun to try together rather than something you need. Many people find that once they try it, their initial worries disappear.
Which toy is best for beginners using toys during sex?
A small bullet vibrator or a vibrating cock ring are excellent starter options. They’re non-intimidating, easy to incorporate into various positions, and won’t get in the way. Once you’re comfortable, you can explore larger toys like wands or couples’ vibrators.
Can we use toys with condoms?
Yes! Just make sure to use water-based or toy-safe lube, as oil-based products can break down latex condoms. Silicone lube is condom-safe but shouldn’t be used with silicone toys. When in doubt, water-based is your safest bet.
How do we avoid the toy getting in the way or falling out?
Start with positions where you can easily hold or place the toy. Missionary with a toy between you, or doggy style where the receiving partner holds it, are good options. Consider hands-free options like cock rings or wearable vibrators. Pillows for support and positioning can also help!