First of all, is it pee? Sex educators answer ALL your questions on squirting.
OK. Let’s not beat around the bush (pun, intended): What is squirting and what’s the big deal?
It really feels like everywhere you look on (free, aka: poor quality, aka: shitty) porn sites you’ll see the word “squirting” popping up. People are simply mad for it. Now, if you venture to actually click on one of these links, you’ll find a camera full of hairless vulvas with copious amounts of liquid shooting from vaginas right and left.
What you’re seeing is a fantastical, wildly exaggerated (in most cases) female orgasm that can spark feelings of inadequacy in any vulva-owning person. It can leave you thinking: What the actual hell? THAT is how an orgasm is supposed to look??!!
The truth of it is, this doesn’t happen during a typical, run-of-the-mill orgasm and for those who do experience “squirting,” it isn’t usually this insane explosion of volcanic proportions. It might be this way for some people, but definitely not for all.
Like all orgasms, there is nuance, variety, and none are the same (or better).
So, where do we separate porn-scene from truth? Is the hype of female ejaculation all it’s cracked up to be or is it just another unrealistic (and super unfair) standard we’ve placed on female bodies?
Here is everything you need to know about squirting.
What is squirting?
People are always asking (and understandably so, given the bountiful confusion: Is squirting even real? The simple answer is: Yes.
But it could never be that simple, you know? Squirting is still a somewhat dubious topic amongst experts from all corners of the sexual health field. The information we have on squirting is still developing, and our knowledge base will likely continue to expand as research continues.
So, is squirting just pee?
No, it isn’t pee. But, it could have some pee in it. Say what?! Yeah, nothing is ever black and white, friends! Bodies are weird!
While the fluid one expels during female ejaculation is not technically pee, it may contain some pee, as the Skene’s are close to the urethral sponge. If you’re stimulating an area near the urethra, it seems realistic to expect you might wind up releasing some urine.
Some women do, in fact, pee during this kind of orgasm. Peeing a little (or a lot) during orgasm is not the same as squirting. How do you tell the difference? We’re not entirely sure. As we’ve said, research is still developing.
How does squirting happen, and where does the fluid come from?
“Squirting,” happens when the Skene’s glands expel an alkaline, milky white fluid during stimulation. It is much more similar to ejaculate fluid than it is to pee. It is odorless and (mostly) colorless. It does not have a particular taste or smell. Much like semen, it’s very unique.
The Skene’s glands are located by the G-spot (the backend of the internal clitoris) and the urethral sponge and tubes. If you’re massaging the G-spot, it’s highly unlikely you’ll be able to tell the urethral sponge from the Skene’s glands from the G-spot. Hence the confusion in how all of this works.
Squirting usually happens with G-spot stimulation somewhere involved in the sexual play, but not in every case. You can experience squirting with partnered sexual play, solo play, clitoral and G-spot combo play, or G-spot only play. You may even squirt from external clitoral stimulation alone.
Some female-bodied people even report experiencing squirting without having an orgasm at all. Meaning, squirting can be called “female ejaculation,” but what that means may vary from person to person.
Every single body is different.
Can you squirt (or learn how to)? How can you try squirting?
You might be wondering: Is it normal? How common is it to squirt? If I’ve never squirted before, how can I learn?
You can experiment with your pleasure in a bunch of different ways. The easiest? Introducing some toys into the mix.
Luckily for you, we have the GOODS. Check out the new Le Wand Squirting Sets. You can go with the OG Le Wand Set (so, so good for G-spot stimulation) or go smaller with the Le Wand Petite Set. The bonus? You get a free coconut love oil as a gift with your purchase. As we know, the more lube the better in all things self-pleasure. Well, and partner pleasure, too. All pleasure.
Pssst! Learn why coconut oil is the best natural lube for sex.
Try stimulating the G-spot alone and try it in tandem with external clit stimulation. Breathe into your body. It might feel weird at first, but if you really lean into it, your chances of letting go to release the squirt definitely increase.
If you do find squirting works for you, only to be like, “OMG! There’s a freaking flood. What should I do?” Never fear. Just put down a towel before playtime. Want be extra careful? You can stick some puppy pads under your butt. No, we’re not joking! Yes, they do work!
Why can’t I squirt? The hard fact of it is: Not every vulva-owning person squirts.
It’s OK not being able to squirt ‘on command.’ It’s OK not to squirt at all. While every person with a vagina does have the same anatomical parts, it simply does not happen for everyone.
There may be several reasons for not being able to squirt:
1. It’s unclear whether every person’s Skene’s glands are in the right position to be stimulated during G-spot touching.
2. It’s possible not everyone has Skene’s glands (we’re just not 100 percent sure yet)
3. It’s certainly possible that while you may have Skene’s glands, they may not expel fluid no matter how much you touch your G-spot and the surrounding area.
All orgasms are created equal. No one is better than any other. Bodies are so varied in their pleasure capacities that it is straight-up impossible (and if we’re being honest, irresponsible) to make sweeping generalizations about vulva & vagina pleasure and our myriad physiological responses.
However you experience orgasm, you’re doing it correctly. Even if you don’t have orgasms and simply experience pleasure-only, that’s awesome. You are valid, and you are normal. Feel free to experiment, but as long as you’re feeling pleasure and enjoying your sex life, you’re doing on the right track. Stay sexy.
For more information and tips on how to marry pleasure and wellness, do subscribe to our newsletter.