What Is Face Sitting? A Complete Guide to Queening and Face-Sitting Techniques

Simply, when it comes down to face sitting sex, there are two necessary components you need to pull it off: a face and genitals.

At some point, if you haven't been asked already, you may come across a partner who asks you to sit on their face. For some, the idea can seem a bit terrifying and thoughts of suffocating their partner to death might run rampant through their heads. While for others, when such a request has been put out there, they mosey on up to their partner, straddle their face and take a seat. Because life is short, so why the hell not?

Welcome to the wonderful world of face sitting – a position that's equal parts thrilling and intimidating for many folks trying it for the first time. Whether you've been curious about queening, wondering how to face sit without the anxiety, or looking to level up your oral game, you're in exactly the right place.

What Exactly Is Face Sitting? Let's Break It Down

Face sitting is refreshingly straightforward – one partner positions themselves over the other's face to receive oral pleasure. But calling it "just" a sex position sells it short. This is about taking charge of your pleasure, flipping traditional power dynamics, and discovering a whole new level of intimacy.

In kink communities, you'll often hear it called "queening" when someone with a vulva takes the throne, though "kinging" exists too for our penis-having friends. The beauty is that these royal titles aren't limited by anatomy – anyone can claim their crown when it comes to face sitting techniques.What makes this position so special? Unlike traditional oral where you might lie back passively, face sitting puts you in the driver's seat. You control the rhythm, the pressure, and exactly where that talented tongue lands. For many, that shift from passive recipient to active participant is absolutely game-changing. It's similar to the control you get with other empowering positions, but with the added intimacy of oral pleasure.

Why Face Sitting Feels Incredible for Everyone

Let's talk about why people lose their minds over this position – and not just the person on top.

When You're Taking the Throne

Imagine having complete control over your pleasure while your partner eagerly works to satisfy you. That's the magic of being on top. You're not hoping they'll hit the right spot – you're putting it exactly where it needs to be. Many folks find they can achieve more intense orgasms this way because they're directing the action.

There's also something profoundly empowering about the position itself. In a world that often tells us to be demure about our desires, literally sitting on someone's face while they worship your body? That's a radical act of self-love and sexual confidence.

Plus, for those who sometimes feel vulnerable during oral sex, being on top can feel safer and more in control. Instead of spreading your legs and hoping for the best, you're actively participating in your own pleasure.

When You're the Throne

Don't think the person on the bottom is getting the short end of the stick here. For many givers, face sitting is paradise. You're surrounded by your partner's body, immersed in their scent and taste, with the perfect angle to drive them wild.

There's also an intoxicating element of surrender. Whether you're into power play or not, there's something thrilling about your partner using your face for their pleasure. And let's be honest – successfully bringing someone to orgasm from this position feels like earning a gold medal in the Pleasure Olympics.

Before Anyone Sits Anywhere - The Communication Conversation

Here's where we need to pump the brakes on the sexy talk for a moment and discuss something crucial: communication. Great face sitting doesn't just happen – it's built on a foundation of trust and clear communication.

Start with an honest conversation outside the bedroom. This isn't a position you want to spring on someone mid-session. Share what intrigues you about trying face sitting for beginners, and ask your partner how they feel about it.

Some key points to cover:

• What aspects appeal to each of you? The power dynamics? The physical sensations? The visual elements? Understanding each other's motivations helps you create an experience you'll both enjoy.
• Address any concerns head-on. Common worries include fear of suffocating your partner, anxiety about your weight, or concerns about hygiene. These are all valid and deserve honest discussion. Remember, your partner wouldn't suggest this if they weren't genuinely excited about it.
• Discuss boundaries clearly. Maybe you're interested in gentle face riding but not full weight. Perhaps your partner loves the idea but needs frequent breaks. There's no wrong way to set boundaries – only wrong ways to ignore them.

The Safe Word Situation

This is where face sitting requires special consideration. Your usual safe word works great for the person on top, but what about when someone's mouth is otherwise occupied?

Establish a clear physical signal – three firm taps on the thigh is popular and unmistakable. Practice it together before you play. Yes, it might feel silly tapping your partner's leg while fully clothed on the couch, but muscle memory matters when you're in the moment.

Consider having different signals for different needs: three taps for "stop completely," two taps for "I need a quick breather," and thumbs up for "oh my god, keep doing exactly that."

The Best Face Sitting Positions From Basic to Bold

Now for the fun part – exploring different ways to take your throne. Remember, every body is different, so what works for your bestie might not work for you. Experiment and find your perfect fit.

The Classic Straddle

This is face sitting 101 – perfect for beginners and beloved by experienced folks too. Kneel with one leg on each side of your partner's head, facing toward their body. Use your thigh muscles to control how much weight you're placing down.

Start by hovering just above their mouth. This lets you both ease into the sensation and helps nervous newcomers realize that no, you're not going to accidentally commit murder by vulva. As you get comfortable, you can lower down more, using your partner's reactions as a guide. Your partner can also try different oral techniques like the Kivin Method from this angle.

What makes this position so great? You can see each other's faces (well, what's visible anyway), making communication easier. You're also perfectly positioned for clitoral stimulation, and lifting up quickly if needed is simple.

Reverse Face Sitting

Ready to mix things up? Turn that throne around. The reverse face sit has you facing toward your partner's feet instead of their head. This position is a game-changer for several reasons.

First, it provides an entirely different angle of stimulation. Second, your partner gets what many consider a world-class view. Third, it opens up possibilities for anal play if that's on your menu. Your partner's hands are also perfectly positioned to caress your butt, thighs, or even use a powerful bullet vibrator on themselves while pleasuring you. For those interested in exploring different anal techniques, this position provides ideal access. Penis owners can discover how vibrators enhance their pleasure in this position too.

The reverse position does require a bit more trust since you can't see your partner's face as easily. Make sure those tap signals are extra clear before trying this one.

The Power Squat

If you're worried about putting too much weight on your partner or want maximum control over positioning, the squat is your friend. Instead of kneeling, you're squatting over their face, using your leg muscles to maintain height and position.

Fair warning: this position is a workout. Your quads will burn, and you might need breaks. But the control it offers is unmatched. You can easily raise and lower yourself, teasing your partner or grinding down when something feels particularly good. Plus, the view your partner gets? Chef's kiss.

Pro tip: Don't attempt marathon sessions in this position unless you've been hitting the gym. Your legs will revolt.

Supported Positions Working Smarter, Not Harder

Not everyone has the flexibility of a yoga instructor or the thigh strength of a cyclist. That's where furniture and props become your best friends.

Try leaning against the headboard for stability – it takes pressure off your legs and gives you something to grip when things get intense. Stack pillows under your knees for comfort during longer sessions. You might even explore having your partner on the floor while you kneel on the edge of the bed, or investigate furniture designed specifically for face sitting. Queening chairs aren't just for dungeons – they're for anyone who wants comfort with their cunnilingus.

Advanced Face Sitting Techniques for the Adventurous

Once you've mastered the basics, a whole world of possibilities opens up. Face sitting is incredibly versatile, limited only by your imagination and flexibility.

Incorporating Toys and Temperature

Your hands are free, so why not use them? Using a wand vibrator can add incredible sensation while you ride. For beginners, the Le Wand Petite offers perfect power without being overwhelming. Your partner might enjoy using toys on themselves too – face sitting can be a fantastic position for mutual pleasure.

Want to really blow minds? Explore temperature play. A small ice cube in your partner's mouth or warming lube can create entirely new sensations. Just discuss it first – surprise ice on sensitive bits isn't everyone's jam. You might also enjoy incorporating wand attachments for targeted stimulation while in position, or try stainless steel toys that can be warmed or cooled for extra sensation.

Exploring Power Dynamics

For those interested in BDSM, face sitting is a natural fit for power exchange. The position itself creates a dominant/submissive dynamic that many find intoxicating.

As the dominant partner, you might direct your submissive's movements, control their breathing through careful positioning, or incorporate verbal commands. Some enjoy the contrast of being physically on top while talking sweetly, while others lean into the queen energy with demands and praise.

Remember: power play requires even more communication than regular face sitting. Discuss limits, establish protocols, and always prioritize safety over scene.

The Art of Breath Play

We need to address this carefully: some people enjoy incorporating breath control into face sitting. This edge play requires extensive negotiation, clear signals, absolute trust, and should never be attempted by beginners or anyone under the influence.

If you're interested in exploring this aspect, research extensively, consider attending workshops, and always err on the side of caution. The line between exciting and dangerous is thin, and it's not worth risking someone's safety for a thrill.

How to Face Sit Safely - Making Face Sitting Worry-Free

Let's get practical about keeping face sitting safe and comfortable for everyone involved.

Breathing and Pressure

Start every session with hovering and gradually add weight based on your partner's responses. Check in frequently with phrases like "You good?" or "Need a break?" Make these check-ins part of your dirty talk so they don't break the mood.

Never put your full weight down unless your partner explicitly asks for it and you've practiced together. Even then, be ready to lift up immediately when signaled. Remember, your partner needs to breathe not just to survive, but to maintain stamina for giving you pleasure.

Hygiene Considerations

Real talk: face sitting puts someone's face in close contact with your genitals. A quick shower before play is considerate and can become part of foreplay. That said, don't go overboard – your natural scent is part of the appeal for many partners.

For extended sessions, quality lube prevents irritation. If you're not fluid bonded or have STI concerns, dental dams provide protection without significantly reducing sensation. The right personal lubricant can make all the difference in comfort.

Physical Preparation

Stretch those hip flexors and quads before attempting long sessions. Empty your bladder first (trust us on this one). Remove sharp jewelry that could scratch, and ensure nails are trimmed and smooth if fingers might join the party.

Consider the surface you're playing on too. A bed provides cushioning but less stability than the floor. Whatever you choose, make sure there's enough room to move safely.

Common Concerns (And Why They're Usually No Big Deal)

"What if I'm too heavy?" Your weight isn't the issue – communication and positioning are. Many partners actively enjoy feeling some weight and pressure. Start light, use supports, and trust your partner to communicate their needs.

"What if I can't orgasm this way?" Face sitting isn't a magic orgasm guarantee. Focus on pleasure and connection rather than achieving a specific outcome. You can always switch positions if something isn't working.

"What about the awkwardness?" Here's a secret: all sex can be awkward sometimes. You might queef, lose your balance, or accidentally knee your partner. Laugh it off and keep going. The couples who have the best sex are the ones who can giggle through the mishaps.

"What if my partner doesn't like my taste/smell?" If your partner is suggesting face sitting, they're already into you. Bodies have scents and tastes – that's part of the appeal. If you're concerned, a quick rinse with water is fine, but avoid harsh soaps or douching, which can throw off your natural balance.

After the Throne - Why Facesitting Aftercare Matters

What happens after face sitting is just as important as the act itself. Your partner's face has been working hard – a gentle massage feels amazing. Hydrate together (you've both earned it), and take time to cuddle and decompress.

Talk about what worked and what didn't. Was the pressure good? Did any positions feel better than others? This isn't criticism – it's valuable intel for making next time even better.

Making Face Sitting Work for Every Body

Face sitting is wonderfully adaptable. Using a wheelchair? Try positions where your partner lies perpendicular to you. Dealing with chronic pain? Supportive furniture and plenty of pillows can help. Limited mobility? Side-lying variations or creative use of furniture can make face sitting accessible.

Remember, there's no "right" way to sit on someone's face. The best position is the one that brings you both pleasure and connection.

Your Throne Awaits

Face sitting is more than just a position – it's an opportunity to claim your pleasure, explore new dynamics, and connect with your partner in incredibly intimate ways. Whether you're drawn to the empowerment of queening or simply want to try something new, remember that great sex is built on enthusiasm, communication, and mutual respect.

Start with curiosity, communicate constantly, and don't forget to enjoy the ride. After all, life's too short for boring oral sex.

Ready to enhance your face sitting adventures? Explore our collection of couple-friendly toys perfect for adding extra sensation, or dive into more expert-written guides for inspiration. Because everyone deserves to feel like royalty in the bedroom.

Love This Guide? You'll Also Enjoy:

Ready for more pleasure adventures? Check out our guides on cockwarming for intimate connection, tips for discreet public play, and why everyone's talking about using coconut oil as lube. For those ready to explore more positions, our complete guide to squirting might be your next favorite read.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is face sitting safe for complete beginners?

Absolutely! The key is starting slowly. Begin with hovering positions where you support most of your weight on your knees. Establish clear communication signals before you start, and check in frequently. Many couples find face sitting becomes one of their favorite positions once they get comfortable with it.

Can face sitting work for penis owners too? 

Yes! While the angle is different than with vulva owners, people with penises can definitely enjoy both giving and receiving in face sitting positions. Experiment with angles – some find a more forward-leaning position works best. The reverse position can be particularly good for penis owners.

How do I bring up wanting to try face sitting? 

Have the conversation outside the bedroom when you're both relaxed. You might say something like, "I've been curious about trying face sitting. How do you feel about exploring that together?" Share what appeals to you about it and ask about their thoughts. Never pressure someone or spring it on them mid-session.

What if I'm worried about hygiene? 

This is super common! A quick shower before play can help you feel fresh and confident. That said, your natural scent is often part of the appeal for your partner. Avoid douching or harsh soaps which can disrupt your natural pH. If you're still concerned, you can use dental dams for protection.

How do we handle positions if there's a significant size difference?

Size differences just require some creative positioning. Try using furniture for support, having the larger partner on bottom, or exploring side-lying variations. Pillows can help with height differences. Remember, every couple needs to find what works for their unique bodies – that's part of the fun exploration!

Why is it also referred to as "Queening" in the BDSM/Femdom community?

In the BDSM community, where power dynamics are at play, face sitting is all referred to as "Queening". The reason for this is because the "Queen" (the dominant partner) sits on their "throne" (the face of the submissive partner).

Queening is an extremely powerful position as one can ride their partner's face, rubbing their vulva, clitoris, and if they want, as they're the one in control, their anus along the mouth and nose of their partner. In this position, the vulva owner isn't just empowered, but can achieve an orgasm easier because they can stimulate their clit against their partner's face — similar to being on top during sex and using their partner's pubic bone to reach climax.